As I sit here taking a break from my busy and semi-(un)productive time alone, I got to thinking about how the internet has added a new level of stress to my life. Like most people, I created a website and a blog as a way of keeping in contact with my friends and family. Kind of a way of creating my own little slice of home in the grand wilderness of cyberspace. The funny thing is, though, that once you have something going you also gain an almost irresistable pull to maintain and update it. In alot of ways that feeling is good and productive. Imagine being a homeowner and not working at all to maintain any level of upkeep on your house. It doesn't take much when you're trying to keep the house neat to mess it up, how much worse when you let it go. But what about all of these other things? In my lifetime I've seen the invention of the mobile phone. It's gone from a briefcase sized gizmo that you carried in your car (literally a "car phone") to something that you can keep in a pocket or attached to your ear. Instant connection from anywhere. News, data, and infomation all at your immediate beck and call. And the internet. I remember in college when having a 32k modem connection at home was the big thing. Hell, a guy from the computer labs got me the software for the e-mail client (line editor, thank you very much) and the winsock connection on a few floppies. Nowadays I get my cable and my internet from the same line coming into my house. Times change and they move fast.
But is it progress?
Now I sit and ponder about things to write about on my blog. Can't get to half of them, real life keeps getting in my way. Lots of things I'd love to do with the website, just haven't had time to really sit and fiddle with the software to figure out what I need to do to get it done. I can't even leave the house now without feeling a bit of stress if I forget to grab my phone. Once upon a time you could go shopping and no one could get ahold of you. Now you can't even sit in a movie theatre without some idiot blathering on to someone who's not there, over the most trivial of subjects.
But I feel like it's not just an organizational problem. It's a stuff overload problem. Things, data, information. I'm allowing alot of it to dictate my life.
Ok, maybe I'm just cranky today. Julie's out of town for the weekend. My parents and Bill are out of town for the week. And despite the fact that I'm an introvert at heart and cherish my alone time, I'm just not feeling it this weekend. Maybe it's because Julie has been working nights for the past two weeks and we just haven't seen each other. But I was thinking about all the stuff I have around here and how I shouldn't be bored, or lonely....but I am. And at the same time I just feel like a million little things around here need to get done and I'm being pulled in by all of them. Then it got me thinking about an interaction someone once had with Jesus..
Luke 18:18-25
18 A certain ruler asked him, "Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
19 "Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good-except God alone. 20 You know the commandments: 'Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.'"
21 "All these I have kept since I was a boy," he said.
22 When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
23 When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was a man of great wealth. 24 Jesus looked at him and said, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! 25 Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." NIV
Woah. Could I give it all up?
In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit:
Lord, please help me to refocus my gaze on you. Don't allow me to be swayed and turned aside by what I have around me. Help me to reprioritize my life. Allow me to reconnect with what is important. Allow me to feel whole and completed in you and in your body. Let your grace pour over me and through me.
In Jesus name.
Amen.
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